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I just nodded, acknowledging the truth. There was some suspicion that some of our newer neighbors were squatters, paying a backhander to the bailiffs rather than a real tax. But nobody really blamed the squatters. There was land aplenty for all, and nobody much liked that the planters from down on the coast technically owned all the land inland, too.“And you’re taking good care of Martha?” Eliza joined in.“Martha?” ma queried, confused.“Eh, Mataoka. She wants to be called Martha”“Yes, I think so,” I looked sideways at Mataoka to check she was agreeing with me. “We sleep like brother and sister. With honor,” I added, suddenly nervous.“We need to get married” my betrothed repeated with a small, meaningful smile.“Pa,” I started, but a sudden jolt from him when I used that endearment told me to pause.“Pa,” Eliza pleaded, “he is your son, true to you, in all ways that count.”Pa nodded, letting it go, accepting something. Ma was looking at me curiously, too. There was no longer fear and. I didn’t have a regular boyfriend although a few thought they were.It started with kissing and I was amazed that something so simple could 1) increase your heartbeat (we checked) 2) make you breathless and 3) make you feel funny.I resisted advances on my breasts, partly because they were still tender and boys tended to grab. My resistance was reinforced by mum’s decision that I needed a bra and attempts to access them became a complicated obstacle course.Due to an unforeseen pregnancy for the daughter of one of my mother’s friends, I had also been taken to our family GP for birth control tablets. Within days I had severe symptoms and he prescribed an alternative but with similar outcomes. Some forms of birth control were considered one step short of torture by my mother, me or both. The GP consulted widely until a month or so before my sixteenth birthday a suitble pill was found. I had no intention of stopping my exploration of boys and I suddeenly became the most popular girl in.
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